Badger

Heaven forbid we talk about ourselves in our own journals.

Heaven forbid we state our opinions in our own journals.

Heaven forbid we post something that is not happy and fluffy, and is instead angry and argumentative in our own journals.

Heaven forbid we post something that someone on our F-list doesn't agree with, in our own journals.

Heaven forbid that we are not unfailingly polite in our own journals.

Heaven forbid we don't post what you want to see in our own journals.

This is my journal, my space, and I'm not forcing you to read. No really, you can scroll. Honest. That's what that little wheelie thing on your mouse is for. You can disagree, and comment to that effect, if you want to. Fostering discussion is a good thing. I enjoy having debates and discussions about things, I really do. I am not, however, going to change my mind, or my posts, to suit you.

I don't expect everyone to like or agree with what I post here, but I do expect that I be given the same courtesy as I would give you, which is that, you know, you have the right to your voice. I have the right to agree, disagree, or to simply not give a shit. It works both ways.

I'm not forcing you to comment either. You can, if you want to, but if you don't, I really don't care. It's up to you. I'm just here to write what think, and to do it in my own little corner of the interwebs. You're welcome to contribute, or not. Don't feel obligated to comment, just because I'm on your F-list. I don't comment on a post out of obligation, and I certainly don't expect anyone else to. It's up to you.

I F-lock the things I don't want everyone reading. I do have anonymous comments disabled, because I want people to own their words. I don't post and disable comments; it is not my intention to discourage discourse and discussion. I don't mind that, nor do I mind threadjacking. I like to see people talking about their thoughts and opinions, whether they agree or disagree with the subject at hand.

I have the right to my voice, in my space. You have the right to agree, disagree, or not give a shit. You do not have the right to attempt to silence me. You do not have the right to demand that I change or take down anything I post here. You do not have the right to insist that I post something I have not or will not post. Capiche?

I extend you this same courtesy, and I expect to receive it in kind.

There is a line between slash and fetishization, and that line gets dangerously close to being crossed 96% of the time.

I enjoy slash, obviously, I mean, I write it, but sometimes it's more a matter of "Guys fucking = hot" then it is a matter of "Guys fucking = hot, but there's more to a character than who he sleeps with." I don't mind PWP, but it doesn't *always* need to be about the sex. Sometimes you can have actual plot without gratuitous porning. You don't see a whole lot of slash fics that are just you know, little snapshots in time, two (or three, or more) men just being together, as a couple. A lot of it is fucking, which is all well and good in it's place, but it seems that lately, all the slashfic I read is either about the sex, or is leading up to sex.

If I'm going to read any kind of relationship fic, regardless of the genders of the characters involved, I want it to be believable. People interacting as people, not just as cut and paste sex objects. If two guys are going at it, make it about them, not the sex. I don't want to read fic where you can snip one guy out and put anyone else in there and have it read the same way. That just doesn't work. If it's a grudgefuck, fine, show me inside their heads and make me get why they're grudgefucking. Same thing for if they're suddenly in love forever, or anything else. I can understand a snippet of a pairing, just a one shot, with other similar fics being worked on. That's cool, I'm currently doing that with Holmstrom/Turco.

I also take umbrage at straight women telling me what I can and cannot do in bed. Not all gay men have anal sex. Sometimes we just tangle together and jerk off. Sometimes, we switch in between. Sometimes, we have terrible sex. We can have sex in missionary. Sometimes, we don't want to have sex, but we do it anyway because our partner wants it. Depending on your level of experience, you might opt to not use lube. If you've had anal sex several times, you probably don't need an intense amount of prepreparation. It all depends on the mood, and how you feel at the time. We don't always have sex in bed. We are just as fluid as anyone else is, when it comes to fucking.

And you know, we're not woobies. We don't need another person to depend on all the time. We can take care of ourselves, without a boyfriend there to hold us. Support is fine, codependance is not. Being gay does not make you incapable of being self-sufficient. A lot of us have no choice *but* to be self-sufficient, and usually from a young age. It comes part and parcel with being queer.

The trend, too, of essentially making one of the slash pair the "woman" is irritating and offensive on so many levels, and not a little misogynistic either. Not only do most straight relationships not work like that, gay ones don't either. BECAUSE HELLO THEY ARE BOTH MEN. The dynamic is gonna be different, because the combination of genders is. It's like writers just take the general conception of a hetero relationship and slot two men into those same roles. We are men, and, while there is nothing wrong with being a woman, at all, most men are not going to act like a man and woman would. The genders are different, the societal expectations of those genders are different, and the way two people of opposite genders relate to one another is generally not going to be the same way two people of the same gender will relate to one another. Isn't the typical "nuclear" hetero relationship just a Hollywood concept anyway? In my experience, Hollywood is not really a great basis for forming relationships in the first place.

How about we try to write our characters as functioning, capable adults, equal partners in the relationship, and not horrifically offensive stereotypes? I'm not trying to be the Ambassador of gay men here, I'm just trying to point out that, as a gay man, and having spoken to other gay men about this same thing, I think I have a little more basis to preach about this sort of things than the majority of the writers of slashfic out there.

I just touched the Stanley Cup.

I just touched the Stanley Cup.

I just touched the Stanley Cup.

I just touched the Stanley Cup.

It is staying at my hotel tonight.

They are touring around for this hockey appreciation thing Scotiabank is doing.

And the Stanley Cup is staying in my hotel.

I just touched it. I'll be going to see it tomorrow, but... I just touched it.

It was glorious. I will never wash my hands again.

Of all the nights for my phone to be dead. I'd have brought my camera if I'd have known. Oh well.

I just touched the Stanley Cup.

This is the greatest night of my life.